Klump and the King
by xinbra
Summary: A take on the Steamed Hams bit from the Simpsons, Klump buys fast food and passes it off as his home cooking. Also his house catches on fire because of a ruined roast. King K. Rool will have an unforgettable lunch. Rated K plus for alcohol reference.


King K. Rool is invited for lunch by his faithful general, Klump. Klump has been preparing a roast for the occasion. King K. Rool came over to Klump's hose with a bottle of wine. K. Rool rings the doorbell. Klmump answered the door wearing his chef's hat and apron.

"Well, Klump I made it, despite your directions," K. Rool said.

"Ah Your Majesty, welcome," Klump greeted. I hope you're ready for an unforgettable luncheon."

K. Rool deadpanned, "Yeah."

As K. Rool placed took his seat, Klump went into his kitchen, Klump gasped at the sight of his oven smoking. Klump ran towards his oven, opening it up to find his roast on fire.

"Oh egards!" Klump exclaimed. "My roast is ruined!" Klump looked outside getting an idea from the "Super Mario Burger" across the street. "What if I were to purchase some fast food and disguise as my own cooking," Klump chuckled, "Delightfully devilish, Klump."

Klump took off his hat and apron and switched to his army helmet, Klump was going out the window when K. Rool walked into the kitchen glaring at his general.

The theme song of Klump and the King begins playing.

[Chrous]

Klump with his crazy explanations, The king's gonna need his medication! When he hears Klump's lame exaggerations, There'll be trouble in town tonight!

[King K. Rool]

 **KLUMP!**

"Sire! I was j-just," searching for an excuse, "stretching my legs on the windowsill, a very good exercise. Wanna join me?"

K. Rool wasn't amused as he noticed smoke coming out of his oven. "Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Klump?"

"Oh, that's not smoke," Klump lied, "it's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having," Klump rubs his belly and makes a yummy sound, "Steam clams."

K. Rool seems to have bought it, so he walks out of the kitchen.

"Whew!" Klump proceeded climbing out the window and ran towards the fast food restaurant. A few minutes later, Klump came out with a tray of hamburgers surrounded with a bed of French fries. "Your highness, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers."

"I thought we were having 'steamed clams.'," K. Rool pointed out.

"Oh no, I said 'steamed hams,'" Klump fibbed, "that's what I call hamburgers."

"You call hamburgers 'steamed hams'?" K. Rool looked at Klump oddly.

"Yes," Klump said. "It's a regional dialect."

"Uh-huh, what region?" K. Rool raised a brow.

"Somewhere around Crocodile Isle," Klump fibbed.

"I came from Crocodile Isle, and I never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams.'"

"Oh no, not in Crocodile Isle, it's more of a Nothern Kremisphere expression," Klump stated.

"I see," K. Rool said before he took a bite. He notices something amiss with the burgers. "You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Super Mario Burger."

Klump chuckled at the thought, Oh, no. Patened Klump burgers. Old family recipe."

"For steamed hams?"

"Yes."

"And you call them steamed hams despite the fact they are obviously grilled," K. Rool stated as he shows Klump the grill marks.

Klump stammered for a moment as he tries to think of an excuse, unaware that his kitchen was being put on fire as smoke comes out of his kitchen door. "Excuse me for a moment."

"Of course," K. Rool said before he took another bite.

Klump rushed in before he came back out faking a yawn, "Well that was wonderful. Good times had by all. I'm pooped."

K. Rool removes his napkin and checks his watch, "Yes I should bebe goi-" his sentence was cut as he looks at his kitchen before the door closes, "LEAPING LIZARDS! WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?!"

"Aurora borealis," Klump said.

"Aurora borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the world! Localized entirely within your kitchen?"

"Yes."

"May I see it?"

"No."

K. Rool and Klump step outside before Krusha calls out to Klump.

"Klump! The house is on fire!" Krusha yelled out.

"No Krusha it's just the northern lights," Klump said.

"Well, Klump, you're an odd fellow, but I must say, you steam a good ham," K. Rool said before he took his leave.

"HELP! HELP!"

K. Rool turns around and Klump smiles and gives a thumbs up. Klump ran back inside to put the fire out.


End file.
